Part 6: Sermon on the Mount Series: What is growing in your Heart?

Negative thoughts and feelings are like weed seeds; letting them grow will contaminate your heart. Negative thoughts and feelings will build a wall in your relationship instead of fostering intimacy. Don't allow negative thoughts and feelings to grow in your heart; cast them out. In Matthew 5:8 (NIV), Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Ultimately, it is God who can create a clean heart in us. We have a part to play by being aware of our thoughts and feelings. This awareness is essential in your marriage. It is so easy to feel like your spouse has done something to hurt you. Caution is needed at the moment when you develop a feeling from what your spouse said or did. When you recognize what feeling you are having, you can determine what you will allow your heart to be like. You choose to be bitter, resentful, defensive, loving, and forgiving. Being offended does nothing to the other person but does something to you. Don't walk in resentment and unforgiveness; it will contaminate your heart. 

You can manage the pain of disappointment by wanting the best for your spouse, even if you don't feel you are getting the best. Avoid allowing negative feelings to drive your behavior. You overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21 and Proverbs 25:21,22). When you are tempted to lash back, press the emotional pause button. Stop and take a break, and think how you can respond in a way that is a blessing. Before reacting to your initial hurt, you should promise yourself to wait 24 hours and pray before responding. This is how your relationships grow and develop. You learn to become more like Jesus through self-discipline. 

This week, acknowledge where bitterness may have crept into your relationship. Express gratitude more frequently to your spouse. Express your anger in a journal. The next time you feel hurt by your spouse, try doing something kind to them instead of becoming defensive. Declare to yourself about what positive things you will do. Example: “I declare by the grace of God that the next time I feel hurt, I am not going to allow my heart to become contaminated; I am going to think/speak a blessing over my spouse.” “I press the emotional pause button quickly.”

There is a blessing to the pure in heart. 

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